Here Comes Henry Boo Boo
by BellatrixLestrangey
Summary: Emma tries to teach Marian about the modern world, in the end they just end up watching a bunch of reality TV shows that Emma doesn't like.


**Quick one shot ****(may or may not continue this one)****. Based on an anon's request. So much fun to write.**

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A loud ringing echoed down the silent hall. With a groggy grumble Emma rolled over and picked up the phone. At least she didn't have to answer phone calls at five in the morning whilst in New York. She would kill to have _that_ life back. But she'd pissed Regina off majorly in brining Marian back from the past. The odds of Regina ever doing her a favor again hit a new low. Frankly Emma was bracing herself for revenge of the most vial nature.

It's been a good two days and Emma was growing anxious just waiting to see what the woman had to dish out. And as of 5:02 she was praying that it wasn't Regina on the other end of the line. "Hello." Emma practically winced into the phone.

"Hey Emma! It's Marian. Just wanted to say I'm loving Storybrooke's nightlife! So exciting. You should come down to the Rabbit Hole." The woman rambled.

Okay so it wasn't Regina. But Marian has been…a bit of a project. Keeping her from getting culture shock and letting her know that toasters were in fact _not_ the very spawn of Satan (she had Regina to thank for putting that into Marian's head) was overwhelming…

And apparently, teaching her to operate a phone was also a mistake.

This was the third time that night, that Marian had called Emma to update her on 'the life and times of Marian'. She was like a real life twitter. And hearing Emma complain about it never failed to plaster a smug 'I-told-you-so' smile onto Regina's face.

"That's great Marian. See, the thing is, I'm trying to get some sleep here. I'm glad you and Robin are—" _Enjoying yourselves_. Emma finished in her head as Marian began to talk over her.

"Thank you so much for saving me. Hey! We should totally hang out together. Maybe tomorrow we can watch some of that…Tee…Vee…stuff you were telling me about?"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever get me off the phone and sleeping faster." Emma tried to muster up some enthusiasm. Emma wasn't entirely ready to introduce the woman to the world of Television. The last thing she needed was the woman to start dropping _Supernatural_ and _Teen Wolf_ references left and right. Heaven forbid she discovered a show like _Bill Nye The Science Guy_.

"Great! I'll stop by your house at around twelve?"

"Sounds good." Emma said as she moved her finger to the 'end call' button.

"Awesome, I'll go ask the mayor for some recommendations!"

Before Emma even had a chance to yell "NoOoOoOoOo! Don't do it!" Marina had hung up. "Seriously?" Emma whispered to herself "I'm gonna have to spend my Friday night watching freaking Dora the Explorer or something." She rolled back over and sunk her face into her pillow.

Another ring echoed though the apartment. This time it was the doorbell. Emma chanced a glance at the clock.

12:00. How had she managed to oversleep like that!?

She slouched over to the door and pulled it open.

"You didn't tell me this would be a pajama party." Marian smiled.

"Surprise." Emma muttered. "T.V's this way."

She and Marian sat before the television screen. "So, what do you want to watch?"

"Okay so there's this show, it's called _Bad Girls Club_. The mayor said that it was a great show for beginners." Marian declared.

_Like Hell it is! _Emma thought. "I'll see if it's on."

Much to her dismay, Regina nailed the time slot. _Trashy T.V here I come_. Yup, Emma Swan would be watching a bunch of 'bad girls' living to together, getting high, starting cat fights, and cussing at each other all day.

Emma flipped to the channel. Naturally the first thing she came upon was one of the cat fights. The two silently watched for a little bit before Marian decided that she didn't quite like these 'crazy psychos' and changed the channel. She flipped right past _Teen Mom_…_thank God_, _The Voice_, and stopped on _Toddlers And Tiaras. _Which by all means, for Emma, was far worse than _Bad Girls Club_.

"That one is kind of cute." Marian pointed to Honey Boo Boo.

"Ya think she's cute. Just wait 'til you see her mom." Emma rolled her eyes.

"Emma, you're so mean." Marian pouted.

"Sorry!" Emma half-laughed. "But it's true."

There was a brief moment of silence. "Hey Emma."

"What now?" Emma asked. "Ya know there's a rule for watching T.V. It's called 'no talking 'til commercial break'."

"Commercial break?"

"Yeah, when some obnoxious announcer appears on the screen demanding that you buy his or her merchandise."

"Oh, you mean like that crazy merchant back in the Enchanted Forest that was always trying to get me to buy acorns?"

"Yeah, sure, something like that." Emma replied. "Anyhow, are you going to ask me your question or not?"

"Oh, right! So I was thinking. We should totally get Roland and Henry together and have a pageant like this! Your mom, and Robin, and the mayor can be judges!"

"Christ! What is with you and the mayor!? She doesn't like us!" Emma threw her arms in the air. "She tried to _kill_ you!"

"But you said that she's not the Evil Queen anymore." Marian pointed out.

"Point is, she's really pissed at me right now…" Emma started.

"Well maybe if we invited her to the beauty pageant…ya know what! I'll call her right now…"


End file.
